Reckless Abandon
by Faith1990
Summary: *ON HIATUS* Spike doesn't allow Buffy to treat him like dirt. How Spike should have acted in season 6 and what happens when time starts going all wonky? I would love to own Spike but Joss owns him and all the Buffy characters :P Please rate and review.
1. Chapter 1

"I hate you, so fucking much!" Buffy yelled at the bleached vampire as she threw another punch at him.

"You arrogant," punch, "disgusting," punch, "asshole!" she fumed.

Spike blocked her next punch, and kicked her feet out from under her, making her land on her ass. He immediately straddled her, gaining the upper hand.

"You stupid bitch! You think I can stand you? Prancing around with your holier-than-thou attitude. You, little girl, obviously need to be taught a lesson in manners." Spike ground out.

"Fuck you, Spike!" she yelled, throwing him off of her. "You have screwed up my life for the last time. I am done with this." She said, pulling a stake from her back pocket.

"Oh, I see, you would rather have kept on not knowing that your precious Riley was cheating on you? Is that it, Slayer?"

"He wasn't cheating you stupid fuck! He wasn't sleeping with anyone."

"For fuck's sake, Buffy, the berk was having vamps suck his blood! How can that not bother you?" he asked incredulously.

"It _does_! That's not what... why did it have to be _you_?" she whined, almost breaking down in tears. "Why did _you_ have to be the one to show me how fucked up my life is?"

Spike sighed at that.

"I don't know, luv. I showed you because... well... I couldn't know what was going on and not tell you." He replied sincerely.

Buffy was no longer able to hold the tears back, and finally broke down crying.

****************************************

When she reached her dorm, Buffy sat on her bed, looking around the room. When had everything gotten so messed up? She still couldn't believe that Riley had betrayed her like that. And that Spike was the one to point it out to her, to show her everything she had been overlooking. Of all the people it could've been.

She slipped under her covers, unsuccessfully trying to stop her tears.

**************************************

Spike was sitting in his crypt when he heard the front door open. _So the boy has come to visit me._ He thought to himself.

"What took you?" he asked, closing up his bottle of liquor and setting it aside. "Guess it takes a while to get back to full strength after those bites." He taunted.

Riley grabbed Spike roughly by the shirt and pulled him up out of the chair.

Spike noticed the man was stronger than usual.

"Hey! Hey, let's be reasonable about this!" He yelled as Riley slammed him up against a pillar.

The soldier was obviously livid.

"You may have noticed, Spike," Riley said as he punched the vampire. "I left reasonable about three exits back."

"Look, I'm not the one who got you into this. Don't kill the messenger."

In an instant, Riley had pulled a stake out from his back pocket, and rammed it through Spike's chest.

"Why the hell not?"

*****************************************

"Ow! Bloody hell! Oh, god! Hey." Spike said, noticing that he wasn't dust.

He yelled in pain as Riley pulled the stake out, and clutched at his chest.

"Plastic wood-grain. Looks real, doesn't it?" the commando asked, grabbing Spike's shirt. "Don't think I don't know what's goin' on with you, Spike. Stay away from her. Or we'll do this for real next time." Riley threatened, patting Spike on the cheek before turning to walk away.

But, just as he was about to walk out of the crypt, he heard the vampire chuckling behind him.

"Oh, man. You are really under it, aren't you?" Spike asked.

"What?"

"Look at you. All afraid I'm hot for your honey."

At that, Riley walked back towards Spike. "Because you are."

"Well... yeah." The vampire admitted. "But that's not your problem. Even if I wasn't in the picture, you're never gonna be able to hold on to her."

Riley pushed his hand on top of Spike's, inflicting pain on the wound in his chest.

"Ow, bloody hell!"

"Maybe I didn't almost kill you enough."

"Come on. You're not the long haul guy and you know it."

"Shut up," Riley snarled.

"You know it. Or else you wouldn't be getting suck jobs from two-bit vampire trulls."

At Spike's words, the man finally let go of the vampire's hand.

"The girl needs some monster in her man... and that's not in your nature..." Spike said, pushing away from the pillar, still holding a hand to his wound. "No matter how low you try to go." He finished, sitting back down in his chair.

Spike reached for his bottle, beginning to remove the cork.

Riley sighed. "You actually think you've got a shot with her?"

"No, I don't. Fella's gotta try, though. Gotta do what he can." Spike said, taking a swig of the alcohol.

"If you touched her... you know I'd kill you for real." Riley warned.

"I had this chip outta my head, I'da killed you long ago. Ain't love grand?"

Spike tossed the bottle to Riley, watching him catch it and take a sip.

"Sometimes, I envy you so much it chokes me." The vampire stated quietly. "And sometimes, I think I got the better deal. To be that close to her, and not have her. To be all alone, even when you're holding her. Feeling her... feeling her beneath you. Surrounding you. The scent..." then, he suddenly broke out of his reverie. "No, you got the better deal."

"I'm the lucky guy." Riley sighed. "Yeah, I'm the guy."

****************************************  
>ONE WEEK LATER<p>

A week had passed since Riley's departure, and Buffy was still wondering if the relationship's failure had been her fault. Her luck with men never changed, and she still, in a way, felt like the demise of her relationship with Angel had been her fault as well.

As she patrolled the cemeteries, she tried to focus on her job.

******************************************

"Um... there's something I got to tell you. About showing you Riley in that place. I didn't mean to... anyway, I know you're feeling all betrayed- by him, not me." Spike continued, as he spoke to a mannequin he'd dressed up like Buffy, holding a box of chocolates in front of him.

"I was trying to help, you know. Not like I made him be there, after all. Actually trying to help you. Best intentions."

He got a little agitated, and started pacing a few steps away.

"I mean, you know, pretty state you'd be in, thinking things are alright, while he's toddling halfway round the bend." If it were actually Buffy in front of him, he knew exactly what she'd say.

"Oh, I'll insult him if I want to! I'm the one who's on your side! Me! Doing you a favor! And you, being dead petty about it, me, getting nothing but your hatred and your venom and- you ungrateful bitch!" he yelled at the doll, losing his control, as he smashed a box of chocolates over the mannequin's head.

"Bitch!" he growled, hitting the mannequin with the chocolates again as it fell over.

Spike sighed, picking up the mannequin. He carefully rearranged the wig, sighing again. Picking up the box of chocolates, the vampire stuffed the sweets back in, making it semi-presentable. Trying to compose himself, he faced the doll again.

"Buffy... there's something I wanted to tell you."

****************************************

Spike heard his crypt door burst open, but didn't even flinch as he continued painting his fingernails.

"Morning, sunshine. If you've come around for eggs or sausage, I'm fresh out." He stated.

Buffy grabbed the lid of the coffin, pulling it out from under him, so that he tumbled backward into it.

"Hey, careful! These are wet." He gestured towards his hands while sitting up.

Buffy slid the lid back onto the coffin, slamming it into Spike's chest, so that it pinned him against the opposite side.

"How could you let her find out like that? From books and papers? You hate me that much?" she asked, feeling hurt that Dawn had found out about her origin in such a way.

"I was just along for the ride, Slayer. Not like I knew she was a mystical glowy key thing. Nobody keeps me in the bloody loop, do they?" he snapped back.

Buffy banged the lid, stepping back. "You could have stopped her."

"Oh, yeah, here it comes. Something goes wrong in your life, blame Spike. News flash, blondie," he growled, heaving the lid up off of him and tossing it aside. "If kid sis wants to grab a midnight stroll, she'll find a way sooner or later. I just thought she'd be safer with Big Bad looking over her shoulder."

Buffy glared at him silently for a moment.

"She shouldn't have found out like that." She insisted.

"You didn't think you could keep the truth from her forever, did you?" he started getting angry, hating how he was being blamed for everything.

"Maybe if _you_ had been more honest with her in the first place, you wouldn't be trying to make yourself feel better with a round of Kick The Spike! You think you're so perfect, Slayer. Well, I got bad news for you, sweetheart, you fuck up just as much as the rest of us. If you didn't want the Bit finding out that way, then maybe you should have told her sooner."

"You disgust me, Spike!"

"Yeah? And why's that, luv? Is it 'cos you know you want me? Or is it because you know there's nothing you can do about it?" he asked in a husky tone, closing the gap between their bodies.

Buffy closed her eyes, trying to calm her traitorous body. Spike wasn't even touching her, yet she was already starting to feel herself becoming aroused.

"I could never want you. You're an evil, disgusting thing." She said, trying to convince herself, as well as him.

"And you love it. Face it, Slayer, you want me. I can smell it on you." He smirked at her, tucking his tongue behind his teeth.

Buffy punched him on the nose, sending him back a few feet.

"You must be delirious. Face it, Spike, even Drusilla never wanted you. She went back to Angelus the first chance she got."

When Spike's hand closed around her throat, Buffy knew she had said the wrong thing and hit a nerve.

"Game's up, Slayer. I'm through playing. You need to learn some soddin' manners, and by god I will make you learn... make no mistake about that."


	2. Chapter 2

"Spike... let me go... _now_." Buffy warned him, trying to sound as threatening as possible.

"And why, pray tell, should I do that, Slayer? I'm bloody well through playing. No more, pet. Won't have you coming in here every soddin' time something doesn't go your way to treat me like dirt."

"That's not what I-"

"Yes, it is." he whispered, easing his hold on her. "Get out."

"What? But-"

"Get out!" he yelled.

Looking at him in surprise, Buffy slowly made her way to his door, casting a last glance back before she walked away.

********************************************

6 Months Later...

"Buffy!"

"Huh?" the Slayer gave her redheaded friend a confused stare.

"I said do you want to go Bronzing tonight?" Willow asked in a worried tone.

"Oh! Ummm... sure. I guess I could use a break from all of this."

Buffy was still adjusting to being back. It was hard to live in this world after knowing what she'd had. Heaven was not something that one just gave up willingly. She had been so at peace. So... complete. But that was gone now, and she needed to move on.

Everyone had been so apologetic when they had found out. She was still having a hard time looking at the people she considered friends. The only one who was different, was Spike. They had shared a kiss a few nights back, and another one on the night everyone had found out where she had been when she had passed away.

Now, as she got ready to go to the Bronze with Willow, all she could do was hope that she wouldn't run into him tonight. She had already had to face him earlier in an alley, and the last thing she needed was to be even more confused.

With that final thought she made her way to the door and threw her friend a pleasant smile.

"Okay, I'm ready."

*********************************************

"Oh, poor little lost girl," Spike sneered as he jumped up, grabbing the chandelier. He quickly swung forward on it and kicked Buffy in the face with both his feet. "She doesn't fit in anywhere. She's got no one to love."

Buffy got up and threw him against the staircase leading upstairs, smashing the banister to bits as she walked toward him.

"Me? I'm lost? Look at you, you idiot! Poor Spikey. Can't be a human, can't be a vampire. Where the hell do you fit in?" she snarled.

Spike swung at her but the Slayer ducked, punching him in the stomach and throwing him across the room again, making him smash into the fireplace.

"Your job is to kill the slayer," she continued. "But all you can do is follow me around making moon eyes!"

"I'm in love with you." Spike ground out while catching his breath.

"You're in love with _pain_. Admit it. You like me... because you enjoy getting beat down. So really, who's screwed up?"

"Hello! Vampire!" he growled as he swung at her once more. "I'm supposed to be treading on the dark side. What's your excuse?"

*******************************************

"Shoe, need my shoe." Buffy muttered while looking around the floor.

"What's the hurry, luv?" Spike asked in a sensual tone.

"The hurry is I left Dawn all night. And don't call me love." She snapped.

"You didn't seem to take issue with that last night," The vampire smirked. "Or with any of the other little nasties we-"

"Can we not? Talk?" she said putting on her shoe.

"I just don't see why you have to run off so quick. Thought we could-" Spike smirked and waggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"Not gonna happen. Last night was the end of this freak show."

As Buffy went to walk past Spike, he reached up and grabbed her arm, making her give a little yelp of surprise. He effortlessly pulled her down onto his lap, ignoring her small struggles.

"Don't say that." He whispered.

"What did you think was gonna happen? What, we're gonna read the newspaper together, play footsie under the rubble?" Buffy inquired.

Spike shifted her and slid his hand up under her skirt, gently teasing her wet lips. At her reaction, he tucked his tongue behind his teeth and grinned as a small moan escaped his Slayer's lips.

"Not exactly what I had in mind." He told her softly.

Buffy reached for the last of her self control and pushed his hand away, struggling to get up.

"Stop!" she demanded less forcefully than she would have liked.

"Make me."

"No! No!" she started, but then gave in and kissed him passionately, not caring who he was or that they were supposed to be enemies. All she knew was that she wanted him, yet still she tried to fight her treacherous body and pulled away once more.

"No, no, I- I have to-"

"Stay. I'm stuck here. Sun's up."

Buffy looked at Spike for a moment, and made up her mind. She felt him turn them around, and lay her down so that he was now on top of her.

"I knew. I knew the only thing better than killing a slayer would be f-"

"What?" the Slayer asked, suddenly infuriated. She shoved the vampire away angrily and stood up.

"Is that what this is about? Doing a slayer?" she demanded.

"Well, I wouldn't throw stones, pet. You seem to be quite the groupie yourself."

"Shut up." Buffy replied, feeling disgusted with herself as she wiped her lips with the back of her hand.

"I'm just sayin'... vampires get you hot." Spike tried to explain.

"_A_ vampire got me hot. _One_. But he's gone. You're just..."

Spike looked at her, hoping to god that she wouldn't go the route he knew she was headed.

"You're just convenient." She finished with a look of disgust on her face.

Before Buffy knew what was happening, she found herself pinned to the nearest wall, an iron grip closed around her neck.

"Wanna run that by me again, _Slayer_?" Spike asked with a dangerous glint in his eye.

"You heard me." Buffy spat out, not backing down.

"Well then," the vampire said in a cold voice. "I suppose I should make the most of my... convenience then, shouldn't I?"

"W- What do you mean?" she asked, feeling a bit worried about this sudden turn of events.

"I mean, pet, that I am not going to let you do this. I won't be your whipping boy, and I sure as hell won't allow you to turn what we have into nothing more than a meaningless rough and tumble. You may not want to admit it, Buffy, but the reason that you want me, is that I understand you. I understand every nasty... little... thing... that goes on in that pretty blonde head of yours. You wanna play, Slayer? Fine. But it will be on my terms... and by my rules."


	3. Chapter 3

Buffy hadn't seen Spike since the morning they had woken up in the warehouse. Honestly, she didn't know if she was happy about that or pissed as all hell. She told herself it was probably for the best. What had she been thinking anyway? Sleeping with a soulless vampire was _not_ what she needed to be doing.

As she patrolled the graveyard, all was calm. She had expected to have a busy night but no such luck came around. Just as she was about to turn around and head home, she saw him. Her first instinct was to run. To put as much distance between them as possible, but despite these thoughts, she found herself walking closer to him.

"Spike? Are you following me?"

"No need pet, you'll come to me soon enough." The serious tone in which he said those words made Buffy shiver.

"You're insane. What happened... it was a mistake. An incredibly stupid mistake. Nothing more."

"Is that so, Slayer? I wasn't aware that making you cum three times in my mouth was such bad thing." He stated boldly, making her remember some of the most pleasurable moments of that night.

Buffy blushed despite herself and heard her breath hitch at his words, which meant Spike had certainly heard it as well.

Before she knew what was happening he had made his way across to her and was now standing directly in her way.

"You know the things I've made you do... the things I've made you feel. And I'm sorry, luv, but you can't fool me. I know you want me."

"You're wrong. You are sick, and depraved."

"And you love it." He purred.

"No! I don't! Maybe that's what gets you off but it's not my style."

"No, it's your calling." Spike said with determination.

"Stop..." she whispered so softly a human would not have heard her.

"Why do you fight this, Buffy? Why fight _me_? I'm not gonna leave you, pet. I'm not gonna run off like the rest of them did. But I also won't let you treat me like shit every time you feel like it. You can run away if you want, but it won't change the fact that I make you _feel_. That's what it comes down to isn't it. That I make you do things, feel things that no one else can. I could show you the bloody stars if you'd only let me, luv."

Buffy couldn't think of anything to say back. He was right. For the first time since... she felt something, anything besides that horrible numbness. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Spike..." she whispered.

"Slayer?"

"Make me feel again."


	4. Chapter 4

What had she gotten herself into? One minute she was asking Spike to make her feel, and the next thing she knew, he had her chained up naked in the lower level of his crypt. This was definitely not of the good.

Spike had originally just thought of getting her in his bed and giving it to her good, but then, an idea began to form in his mind. Whether the Slayer wanted to admit it or not, he knew what she needed. Knew that in order for her to ever be happy and at peace, she would have to let go of everything that weighed on her. And tonight, he was going to make her do just that, and then some.

Now, he was circling her like a predator, waiting for the opportune moment to attack its prey. He noticed that her eyes were closed, almost as if with that action, she could block out what was happening right now.

"Buffy..." he said her name gently, almost in a whisper .

She slowly looked up at him, her gaze clouded with thought, and something else he couldn't identify.

"Luv, the first thing I want you to know, is that I'm not here to judge you, or to make you doubt yourself. I'm here because you need me, Buffy. _You're_ here because you need me. This can be a good thing, but I do have to warn you that it could get intense, so if you wanna stop at any point, just say "pirate" and I'll stop. I doubt it's a word that would just slip out tonight." He walked over to her and lifted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes.

"Unless that word comes out of your mouth I won't stop, pet. Got it?" he patiently waited for her to acknowledge his words, but let out a small growl when she didn't respond.

At the sound emanating from his throat, she quickly nodded.

"Good. Now, why don't you tell me what you're so afraid of?" he asked casually.

Buffy's eyes shot up to his, obviously expecting any question but that.

"I... I don't know what you're-"

"Yes, you do." Spike interrupted. "The reason you won't allow yourself to believe I love you, the reason you're so distant from the world... the reason you always push me away. You're scared of something, Buffy, and I want to know what it is."

His words shocked her, but she immediately got over that and went into defense mode.

"I'm not scared of anything, you're just... insane, and delusional, and I want you to unchain me right now!"

She seemed serious, but Spike noticed the safe word hadn't escaped her lips, so he stared her down, a challenge in his eyes letting her know that if she really wanted him to stop, she should let him know now, before things got really serious. The word never came, and the vampire didn't know whether to be intrigued or delighted. Either way, she had made her choice.

"I'm not unchaining you. In fact, you're not leaving this fucking room until I get the answers I want out of you, and if that means I have to force them out, then I will." He snarled.

In the blink of an eye, he was behind her, his fingers pulling her hair so that her neck was completely exposed to him.

"You've been a very bad girl, Slayer." His words were followed by a rough spank to her bottom. Buffy cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure.

She felt him kneel behind her and start tentatively licking the spot where he'd struck her, eliciting a gasp from her.

"So soft." She heard him whisper.

Spike knew that it was going to take a tremendous amount of effort to break her down, but tonight, he would do just that. Of that he was sure.


	5. Chapter 5

"Can you feel it, Buffy?"

Buffy nodded her head eagerly. Spike had been spanking her ruthlessly for the last hour and she didn't know how much more she could take before she gave in.

"I said… can you _feel_ it?" the vampire growled, his hand coming down hard on her red bottom.

"Yes!" she screamed, not knowing if her reaction was from lust, or pain.

_"Wanna know what a bullet feels like, Warren? It's not like the comics."_

_"No, no–"_

_"I think you need to… feel it."_

Buffy's loud gasp made Spike's head snap up at her. She looked confused, like she'd just woken up and had no idea where she was. A thin sheen of sweat glistened on her forehead, and her pupils were completely dilated. Spike quickly unchained her, sensing that something was wrong, and their little game would have to wait until some other time.

"Pet? Slayer? Buffy, talk to me what's wrong?" he asked worriedly as he cradled her in his lap and quickly put one of his shirts on for her.

"I… I don't know." She answered softly. "For a second it was almost as if-"

_"Please, god… I did wrong. I see that now. I need… jail! I need… but you-you don't want this. You're not a bad person. Not like me."_

"Ahhh!" Buffy yelled in pain as she clutched her head with her hands. Her brain felt like it was going to explode, and the things she was seeing… she didn't recognize them, any of them.

Spike was at a loss. He had no bloody idea what was going on and Buffy wasn't exactly sharing at the moment. He had to think of something, quickly.

_"Trust is for old marrieds, Buffy. Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes."_

_"Until there's nothing left! Love like that doesn't last."_

_"I know you feel like I do. You don't have to hide it anymore."_

_"Spike, please, stop this–"_

_"Let yourself feel it…"_

Buffy's eyes darkened as the next few images raced through her mind.

Spike looked on worried. When he saw the look on her face, he decided his best bet was to take her to the Scoobies. He went to reach for her so he could pick her up, but was met with a fierce punch to the jaw.

"Bloody hell! What the fuck is wrong with you, you crazy bitch?" he roared, though his worry was still visible.

"Don't!" Buffy warned as he took a step forward. "Don't touch me or I swear I _will_ kill you."

Spike stared at her in astonishment, being able to do nothing as he watched her run out of his crypt.


	6. Chapter 6

"My goddess, Buffy, are you certain?" Tara exclaimed.

"I know what I saw, Tara. One minute I was–" Buffy paused, not wanting her friend to have any knowledge of her tryst with Spike. "I was fine… a-and the next it was this blinding pain. I saw things that made no sense, things I've never lived through. But… it all seemed so… _real_."

Tara patted Buffy's back soothingly in an effort to calm her.

"Maybe they are visions of what could happen, scenarios of what might unfold. The question is, who is showing you these events, and why?" she pondered.

"I dunno, but whoever it is, it's not the PTB, I don't think. If it was, they would have just sent Whistler, or someone equally annoying."

"Yes, that's true." Tara agreed, having heard of the demon before, though she wasn't really paying attention to what Buffy was saying, as she was concentrated on trying to figure out these apparent visions.

"Tara, if what I saw… if Willow…" she trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

"I am not sure if what you saw will come to pass, Buffy, but I can promise you that I will try my best to make sure Willow never reaches that point. We all know she's been having issues, but it won't get that bad. Willow's a good person, Buffy." The witch assured her.

"I-I know, Tara, it's just–"

_"You think you can just do that to me? You think I'd let you get away with that? Think again!"_

_Buffy spasmed as she heard the gunshot and felt the bullet go in. Within seconds she had broken out into a cold sweat. She could feel the blood pooling on her chest. "__**Oh, god, I'm dying**__." She thought._

_"Oh, god! Oh, no! Please… please, come on! Come on, Tara! Please, come on, baby." Buffy was suddenly standing on the second floor of her house. Tara was laying limp in Willow's arms, a gaping bullet wound in her chest. The Slayer tried to stop the tears, but they fell. A black cloud formed over Willow's head, and when the witch looked up, her eyes were pitch black._

_"By Osiris, I command you, bring her back. Hear me, keeper of darkness!" Suddenly, a face formed from the thunderstorm-like mist._

_"Witch! How dare you invoke Osiris in this task?"_

_"Please, please bring her back." Willow begged, the tears streaming down her cheeks._

_"You may not violate the laws of natural passing." The face responded in a fearsome voice._

_"How–How is this natural?" the witch asked desperately._

_"It is a human death, by human means!"_

_"But, I–"_

_"You raised one killed by mystical forces, this is not the same. She is taken by natural order. It is done!"_

_"No, there has to be a way…" she sobbed._

_"It is done!" The voice thundered._

_"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Willow yelled, and as she did, something resembling a vortex came forth from her mouth and went straight for the giant face, making it scream in pain, and promptly disappear._

"Buffy! Buffy!"

At the screaming of her name her eyes snapped open.

"Oh god, Tara." Buffy cried as she held the girl. She had seen Tara's limp, lifeless body, and that was a sight that would stay with her for a long time.

"It h-happened again, didn't it?" Tara asked, gently.

"Y-yes, but it lasted longer this time… much longer." Buffy responded, still shaken up by what she had seen.

"Buffy we have to figure this out. It may just be visions now, but what if it starts hurting you physically? That much strain on the brain can't be good."

"I know. Look, I'm gonna call Giles. I know he's far away, but he still might be able to help. It's my last option considering I don't really want Willow involved in this." Buffy sighed.

"B-Buffy... don't you think maybe... you _should_ involve the people in your visions? Maybe them being aware of what could happen will help to prevent it." Tara suggested softly.

"I get what you're saying Tara, and it's not a bad idea, but it's too soon. I wanna have more information before I go around judging anyone."

*************************************************************************  
>"How many more times do I have to bleedin' tell you? I am not going to rape you!" Spike growled at Buffy, unable to understand how she would believe that for even a second. Sure, some visions had told her, but Spike knew himself. He would <em>never<em> do that to her… not ever.

"Spike, I saw you! Look, I really don't wanna talk about this anymore ok?" with that, she started walking away, hoping he wouldn't follow.

"Slayer!" the way he roared at her made her stop dead in her tracks.

The vampire slammed her up against the nearest crypt wall and snarled at her.

"I don't give a piss what you saw. That… wasn't… me! I would never… I love you! You can turn your face in disgust all you want, sweetheart, but you know it's true. Deep inside, you know."

"No, I don't. That's the problem." And with that, she walked away.


	7. Chapter 7

"Stupid vampire with his stupid hair and his stupid… ugh!"

Buffy was miserable. All she could think about was Spike and the flashes she'd had.

"Ohhhhh god, just make the thoughts sto–" Buffy's sentence was cut short as a piercing scream was torn from her throat.

Her vision suddenly faded to darkness and all was silent.  
>When she woke up, she was standing in what seemed to be a basement, and Spike was crouching on the floor, his hair longer than usual and a faraway look in his eyes.<p>

Buffy was breathing heavily and looked at the vampire in confusion. Her hands hysterically started running over her body and after a few minutes, she realized with a gasp what was happening. _Oh, god, I'm actually here!_

"Spike… what's happeni–" Again the darkness descended, and when she regained consciousness, she was in what appeared to be an unknown house, with Spike kneeling by the bed she was sitting on. Then, he spoke.

"When I say I love you, it isn't because I want you or because I can't have you. I love who you are, what you do… how you try." He whispered.

Buffy was astounded by the words coming out of his mouth. She couldn't help it when her eyes welled up with unshed tears. She knew this wasn't really happening, and that it was something from the future, yet she couldn't help but sigh at the evident love in Spike's eyes. Was this how it could be? She felt no rush to snap at him or tell him how stupid he was. After all, it wasn't _her_ Spike saying this. Yet, in the back of her mind, she knew that it was. She couldn't suppress the smile that formed on her lips at that thought. Maybe he really did love her. How could she have been so blind? It seemed amazing to her that a moment so simple and irrelevant, could make her see so much. Just as she was about to respond to her lover's words, that feeling of nothingness consumed her once again, and all was gone.

*************************************************************************

"Buffy! Wake up."

"Come on, Buff, you gotta open your eyes."

As she slowly opened her eyes, Buffy saw the worried faces of her best friends surrounding her.

"Hey, guys. What happened?" She slurred.

Willow sighed in relief before explaining. "Well, we're not exactly sure. One minute Xan and I were talking and the next you poofed in here."

"Yeah, you sorta passed out and we were worried." Xander added.

"Oh..." Buffy whispered. She had no idea how she'd gotten to the magic box. Everything she had seen was still fresh in her mind, and it sent a chill down her spine. She needed to find out what was happening, and she needed to do it soon.

"Guys, I need to tell you something. There's this thing that's been happening and I'm not quite sure what it is, but I need to find someone who can help me figure it out."

"I think I might be able to assist you."

Everyone turned around at the familiar voice. Buffy almost wept with relief when her eyes fixed upon the one person who could help her now more than ever.

Giles.


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh, Giles." Buffy ran to her watcher, the tears streaming down her face freely now.

"There, there, Tara informed me that you might need my help. I must say, Buffy I've missed you terribly." The older man said with a loving smile.

"Everything's been so messed up lately." She whimpered.

"It's alright, Buffy. We'll figure it out just like we always do. Now, why don't we go to my flat? You can have some tea and tell me all about it, hmmm?"

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"I don't know where to begin." Buffy said in a low voice. "I've been having these weird flashes, kinda like Slayer dreams but I'm awake when they happen. I talked to Tara about it and we think I might be seeing the future although I'm not sure. It's all very confusing. Anyway, I was patrolling today and all of a sudden I got that feeling again, the one I get right before a flash, except this time, it _wasn't_ a flash. I was actually there, Giles. The things I've been seeing…" she paused for a moment, and the sadness was clear on her face. "I need to do something about it. There's things that need to be avoided. I've seen what can happen and trust me when I say it's not a happy scenario."

Giles was watching her with a thoughtful expression.

"Perhaps… perhaps we should explore this further. If what you are saying is indeed correct, this could be very important, Buffy. To have a glimpse into the future is a rare luxury. This could be very useful. Is there anything that sets this off? Any specific situation that makes these episodes happen?"

"Not that I know of, they just happen randomly." She told him. "I just wish that I knew what they meant. I mean, just because I'm the Chosen One doesn't mean–"

The room spun and the last thing Buffy heard was Giles screaming her name.

*************************************************************************

"Hello, cutie."

Buffy slowly looked up, an unbelieving look filling her eyes as she saw the vampire before her.

"Spike?" Her hands instinctively made a fist and she clutched at her stake, feeling powerless in this strange situation.

"You want to go a round, pet, I'll have a gay old time of it. You want to stop Angel… we're gonna have to play this a bit differently." The vampire said with his hands raised.

Buffy felt confused. Angel? She'd done this before, had this discussion before she was sure of it.

"What are you talking about?" she asked as her mind slowly began to clear.

"I'm talking about your ex, pet. I'm talking about putting him in the bloody ground."

Buffy gasped. Angel… Angelus, Spike, Drusilla, Acathla, it was all coming back to her now. "I remember." She whispered.

"Slayer?" Spike asked, a look of confusion marring his handsome features.

"Spike…"

*************************************************************************

"Buffy?"

"Giles… what happened?" she asked, looking around and seeing she was once more in her watcher's apartment.

"I'm not quite sure, one moment you were here and the next you simply vanished."

"How… how long was I gone?"

"Three, maybe four minutes. How long was it for you?" he asked gently.

"Same. At least the time perception is the same." She groaned.

"Buffy, where did you go?"

"Giles, I think this is going to be a little more complicated than we thought."

"Why do you say that?" her watcher asked with clear curiosity written all over his face.

"Because… this time I didn't go into the future… I went to the past."


	9. Chapter 9

Pen Name Update:

My pen name will be changing to Faith1990. I hope you all receive this update, and feel secure that my stories will still be up, just under a new pen name.


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